i have
two confessions today ..
well , if it's counted as confessions la ..
I NEVER REALLY BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP BEFORE ..yep, i said it.. and i'm not ashamed .. because i'm a
positive person. i had flings, i like guys (dun worry) .. and there were a couple of ppl in my life.. but real commited relationship? nah,
not yet anyways.. it's just that my own mind,
i know i'm not matured and emotionally stable yet.. besides all the guys i pass by before .. well, they're not exactly boyfriend/ partner material.. haha..
each time a guy tries to enter my life (or i enter theirs), i would kneel and pray .. and each time it's the same thing .. " if that guy is
not going to make me happy, if this is
not the right guy for me , plz
keep him away from me .. before
he bring me
sadness and pain because i would crumble"
and each time, the guy would start moving away and i believe in my prayers ..
when i was 15, i was
under peer pressure to get a bf .. ( i was in girls school) and i tot "hey, if i get a bf online , it would be
better, cause i dun need to worry about seeing him and losing my focus on my studies"
silly young me ! .. =D
when i was 17, i stepped into NS camp and
my eyes and mind were broaden.. i met people of everywhere.. and i learn that i too , am not that shy and kept up..
now i'm near 20, i had experience crushing and being crushed and crashed before.. and after an experience, an incident of real life, i'm confident that i dun want a test relationship, another cute lil fling.. no more..
i'm grown up.. and i know when to stay away .. it's just that the time is not right.. at least not yet..
like i always say "
hey, i'm single, if love happens, it happens, why bother looking and seeking high and low?" =D
2007 is my year!
but my heart is still healing anyways ..confession number
two..
I DON'T HAVE A BEST FRIEND ..
my best friend is myself... why? i
dun believe in best friends.. no matter how best your friends are ...
what the hell is a best friend?
~ to me = someone who
found a new friend and ditch you.. when ur barely 11, and u end up
crying on the phone to dad at the office (yesh, i was 11..) ..
i later found out that she was
trying to get me to convert to another religion.. =(
i had best friend.. i used to think u could only have one .. now i learn i can have more.. but i
dun dare claim just about anyone to be my best friend .. not even Jo who i been friends with since 12..
(that's about 8 years now Jo, happy anniversary! =) ) no, i dun have best friends..
only close friends.. friends who are close.. a few close friends.. i'm
scared of having a best friend .. Jo is my close friend .. =) .. i can tell her everything ..
oh well ,that ends my emo rant of the day, i'm bored.. so pardon me. sitting in this big empty house makes me a bit siao ..
i miss
*sotong, the
tears just refuse to
drop..
* name have been changed to hide the identity of the person
Labels: anniversary, emotion
