broken heart.

Monday, February 26, 2007

this is me..

u know nowadays the technology is super good..

so damn super good ..

do u know skype?

skype is used to make calls to others. like talking on mic and webcamming.

so me, innocent girl decide to try skype la..

eventhough i got no mic and cam.

how would i know , i put on status :: skype me::

waaa then the bunch of perverts all come and wanna cyber f**k la, show me theirs what-nots la.

yerrr, these guys got no pride one ah ..

then i reject de, then they come some more.. don't they get the idea i'm not interested in their fantasy rubbish?

sorry if i'm being too straightforward in this post.. but the other night i was damn happy. why?

this idiot popped up with a pic of erect c*ck and ask me

idiot : what is on display ?

me : *frown* ur d*ck

idiot: wanna have some fun?

me : LOL.. so short ...

offensive idiot felt his ego burst and left.

damn, these people are nutz! wth.. u would never know what kinda people these are.

sometimes i leave the status and went to bed. this is what i found the following morning.

* u guys are lucky i sprayed our ur names.. X( *

i still believe in privacy ..

on another note.. i finally finally finally finish and hand up my flash. waa, u should see the duplicates of flash and what not on my screen..

covers up my chunnie's face.. XD . .so kesian

so i clear all the rubbish, change my wallpaper and voila!

XD

i wanna get ready for dinner de, see ya!

Labels: chit chat, offensive, wu chun

;5:39 PM

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Friday, February 23, 2007

this is me..

i'm born in Kay L, i grew up here .. but my hometown is in penang.. and there is where i headed during chinese new year !

before i start blogging, i'm sure it's not too late to wish my chinese readers .. a very happy chinese new year!

last week, around this time, i'm sure at my ta pek (oldest uncle) 's house .. his house was very welcoming and very warm.. =)

when i was much younger, i used to spend time in Penang with my cousins .. *smile* .. now i guess we're all grown up now.. no longer like last time..

but anyways, i still like the atmosphere at my er pek's (second uncle) house.. it's familiar.. and each year, i would recall how i used to be so excited for the new year ..

not to forget my auntie.. who always been a gracious host.. and her cooking is yum yum.. delicious.. *thumbs up*

i always miss penang everytime i come back here to the buzy city of Kay L.. every time i leave, i'm sure to leave a piece of my heart back there.. i remember when i was much younger, there were times when i used to shed a lot of tears heading back to KL.

i hate the sight of Kay L when i come back. i hate looking at the road sign saying i arrived back de. then i recalled how fast the days in penang was ..

this piggy year 2007 was no difference.

only i wish my family could be more friendly.. more intimate with each other.. *memories* cause i miss the communication i once had with everyone when i was just a little girl..

i love hanging around in ta pek's house. i love walking around er pek's house. i enjoy the laughter at my auntie's house. i take in the smiles (and junk food) at my grandpa's house. i marvel at my uncle's stall.

what does chinese new year mean to me ? .. hanging around with family, being able to laugh , talk and enjoy each other's company.

i love penang area. when i sat down at a shop to eat the other day ..the waitress came to me and instead of ..

* "yao yam mat ye ah?"

i heard..

*"ai lim ha mi?"

* what you wanna drink?

it's so soothing to hear people speaking in my mother tongue language.. i don't miss the canto speaking in KayL.. but i smile at the Hokkien spoken in Penang..

i guess my parents had adapted much into me, sometimes i feel like i don't belong in KayL.

oh well.. i wanna go back to penang. and soon. i hope.

for now, since i snapped 300 + piccies in penang, i can show a few =)

** I love this shot!! **

** My grandpa! ^^, **

** Angel, my cousin Melissa's noisy dog**
** Lanterns hanging at neighbouring house**

** My aunties at my grandpa's place**

** This pillow remind me of Adrian's pillow... so i took it **

** Bukit Mertajam!!! ^.^ **

** Auntie's delicious food!!! **

** Behind er pek's house **
** Look! Can also find Jay in Penang !! LOL.. **

** Uncle's stall of toys**
** Set of tea cups *.*" **
** Cousin Kai Xian .. muahahaha.. u never knew I snapped this ! **
** Ferris wheel .. there was a funfair nearby **
** Cousin Katherine and me **

** My bro lalallala..**

** The pretty lanterns.. and the bad photographer .. -.-''**
** Chicken rice from Penang ! **
** Look at the clear blue cloudy sky! **
** Guess who tagged along for the trip! **

then of course, i visited my other cousin who din go back penang this year! .. muax eve!

** Me and Eve ! **

on a totally different subject ..

wu chun posted this in his blog for valentine ..

" don’t be sad coz here’s a bouquet of Tulips as my sincere thanks to all of you!!!" - Wu Chun

now i got only one question ..

...

....

HOW HE KNOW I LOVE PINK TULIPS!! lol..

*smiley mode* ..

and not to forget, since i received these smses .. thanks to Sam my beauty specialist, Sio Hui my pet bro, Iszc my NS buddy, Nance my ol skool buddy, Kai Xian my "black sheep" cousin, Lily the friend i knew since 6, Mitch my partner in crime way back in tuition, Farah Nadia my classmate, Eve my adorable cousin, Maws my ol Nsync buddy, Chun Ying my shy buddy from NS, Say Khai the tofu and Karyn my jcnet moderator. Thanks for the CNY wishes from the SMS.

Love much.

GONG XI FA CAI YA'LL

Labels: emotion, family, pix, wu chun

;10:46 PM

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

this is me..

hehe, got home early from class today .. so wanna do some random posting ..

deryk left to melbourne, like early this month ..

thank you all for being such great frenz. i will be at melbourne for a very long time. i'm really gonna miss each and every one of u. hope to see u guys in the near future. until then, do take care.

aww, that was so sweet.. but ..

i know deryk in maths tuition back in 2004, we never talked, we just msn-ed after form 5 and never hang out before.. the sms was a bit overwhelming .. still it was sweet of him =)

do take care Deryk!

*
**

i'll sure sad if u sick. last time when u headache bout ur assignment, summore cheat me tat u commit suicide, i so worry. but u syok kacau me. sigh

sorry lor ge.. that time wanna see you really really care about me or not ma =P

thanks for waking up and listening to me ..

*
**

jalan balik rumah. cian kat u. kalu i ada boleh i gendong u balik rumah kan.

[ walk back home. pity u. if i'm there, i could piggy back you home]

LOL.. i would break ur back, Wan..

on the other hand, i spread Valentine love and cheer to my old friends but oni Iszc, Wan and Ge reply me .. Shih wai was bitter tho ..

[Happy SAD day to us, single awareness day]

=P

actually last year, i was looking forward to this day .. i had something planned but then haish, plans changed..

oh , parting words ..

HAPPY VALENTINE TO LOVEBIRDS OUT THERE ..

may ur friends and family keep supporting ur relationship =) ..

it sucks when they don't .. =)

for those single .. [like me]

dun fret.. valentine is just another day .. =)

everyday can be valentine .. =P

i remember back 2 years ago, on valentine, in ns camp.. i handed red hudson sweets to those that i care about .. * sweet sweet memories*

and i was then put into community service group *blush*

now i wanna see my chun cooking *opens youtube*

toodlez

currently listening : si mian chu ge - Jay Chou

editted : OMG OMG OMG.. *faint, wake up and faint again*

chun is so good at cooking.. he made mushroom soup with the bread and such.. he's so cute !

* goes awww non stop*

here it is , cannot embed le.. disable

Chun cooking Part 1

Chun cooking Part 2

Chun cooking Part 3

Chun cooking Part 4

Labels: chit chat, daily rant, jay chou, wu chun

;2:05 PM

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Monday, February 12, 2007

this is me..

i wrote so ~~fucking~~ freaking long .. and blogger swallowed it ... wuu wuu

*swear and curse non stop* waaa..

never mind, i only got two important thing to write anyways ..

before that, here's something for the ADULTS to be amused/entertain/laugh butts off/ grossed out.. you pick your reaction

Make love to chair

on the other hand, i can't resist to post a picture of my two shuai ge!

** Can't resist the cake eh ? **

** Jay + Basketball = Diao ! **

and and and ..

tomoro is ~~tuesday~~ ..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!!!

* guess how old is my mummy

and the ~~insignificant~~ other s.p.e.c.i.a.l guy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADRIAN !!

i'll spare you the guessing, Adrian turns 21 .. =P

hehe..

till next time, toodlez guys!

Labels: bday wish, family, jay chou, wu chun

;11:27 PM

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Friday, February 09, 2007

this is me..

a rose is like me.

thorny but dying.

hated by friends.

only loved by family.

lost in the sea of flowers.

~

a broken promise friend.

an untrusted companion.

an abandoned rose by the street.

the temperature rise.

the rose is lying there.

hoping someone would water her.

no one did.

she cries to go back to her bush.

that's the only place she's happy.

because when you pluck the rose out.

she is not happy.

only the bush is her only bliss.

the rose waits.

waits for her true friends.

her real friends.

who doesn't stick their thorns to her.

but they never came.

they never helped her home.

they rather not notice her.

how long will this rose stand?

her petalz are drying, withering.

she cries for comfort, for familiarity.

but in the meantime, no one is nice.

no one likes a withering useless, stupid rose.

it's just a dumb rose, so what?

little did they know.

the rose has feelings.

and she's hurt, perhaps by her own thorn.

perhaps by other thorns.

where's the sun for the rose?

** Sorry, i wrote this with tears streaming down my face

Labels: emotion

;1:36 PM

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Thursday, February 08, 2007

this is me..

hey you guys .. i'm back..

i been meaning to get something off my chest for a while now ..

note : what ur reading might offend you, might make you pull ur hair out .. might make you hate me but hey, if my fren, then u'll understand me right? =)

WARNING : STRONG ISSUE COMING UP!

i find premarital sex .. unacceptable ..

i might have argued this topic several times in my previous blog and i might have argued and debated a little at jcnet .. but to me, u cannot change my opinion about premarital sex.

note: this mostly apply to girls lar...

imagine a typical scenario in today's society.. where the young gen sleeps around.. now picture this ..

a 16 year old girl , brought up by good parents.. got pregnant.. the guy left

the consequence : - a ) shame to parents and family
b ) own future destroyed forever

possible action : - a) abortion
b ) throw away baby

consequence : - abortion = murder ??

murder = killing / taking another's life.

u might think .. "so jaz, what difference does it make if ur married?"

imagine this ..

25 year old woman pregnant, married ..

i believe husband + wife = marriage --> family

wouldn't it feel nice .. to know that ur having a baby, u have ur husband there, supporting and loving you, ur family also happy for you..

instead of getting laid and abort / kill a life?

oh sure, there's adoption.. but how many girls actually did that? O.o

note : i'm not saying ALL guy would ditch a girl when she's pregnant ..but why take the risk ?

" oh , we love each other so that's why we did it "

bullshit! i dun believe in that shit !

u love her ? u love him?

hold hands. cuddle. hug. smile.

there's a lot u can do without taking off ur clothes!

oh, some even said " well , married de also still can divorced ma! "

divorce is an unforseen circumstances. u thought it might last. but it din.

however , this ain't the same with dating relationship..

oh , some might say " aiya jaz, u never been in relationship ma, how u know?"

simple :- no matter what, i never wanna hurt my parents .

that's my principle , my top priority.

how can i do this to my parents after they had raised me with all the hopes and dreams and moral values and i turn out to be a disgrace to them??

how how how ? it will be like = failing them as a dutiful daughter.

when i was younger, my mom used to tell me

" cross ur legs, sex is not for you until you're married"

do u really think u can live knowing u never gave THESE baby a chance to live??

if any of you terasa or anything , i can't do anything right?

possibility of me changing my mind ?

0 %

think before you fcuk..

Labels: emotion, family

;11:14 PM

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Wednesday, February 07, 2007

this is me..

today my post would be : why i blog??

1 ) my ns friends, my school friends..my other friends.. they wanna know wazzup with me ..

wrong for me to have friends??

2 ) i record memories and such

wrong for me to wanna cherish moments???

3) i wanna express myself and have a say in the world wide web

because i have the right to my heart.

wrong for me to share my opinion??

anyways .. ignore above emo post, i'm not seeking for attention >:( ...

oh my beloved FRIENDS, i have an interesting something to share ..

this morning, i woke up at 8 am but then i slept back for a while.

me and joanne were standing on a stage and overlooking at the bottom.. as big as football field.
"wa, so big" jo told me. i nodded, then i saw the guys of fahrenheit sitting on the table. so of course i approached wu zhun first la.. =P

there was no other fans in sight. wu zhun not only sign my book, he wrote his bio inside my book too! .. then his pen ink dried up .. i handed him my pen, they were talking with me..
" you're gonna give the other guys to write too right?" he asked me
i nodded. after him, i gave the book to jiro but chun kept talking to me. jo can speak chinese in my dream. lol.

"malaysia right? which school u come from?" chun asked me with a smile
when i wanted to reply "MMU" some speaker thingy boomed and he couldn't hear me. then the security said they have to perform de. and i turn to see chairs and chairs of fans. there's two empty one in front for me and jo!

chun gave me his contact number and got ready for the concert and i excitedly head to my seat.

then i woke up. tulan. jialat. *&%^^**

i was so happily dreaming and it seemed so so real. cause in real life, my pen ink also dried up. =P

haha. enough rant from me today. juju and shih wai are close readers to my blog. luv u guyz!

Hugglez to my blog readers for reading , i din force u guyz to read hor ?

i'm off to bed now, tomoro another long long day of class..

Labels: daily rant, emotion

;1:26 AM

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Tuesday, February 06, 2007

this is me..

One day in Jazlyn's life .. the last of me..

1. Last picture taken:<< hmm.. during lily's bday 17 jan

2. Last word you said:<< "looks like garbage bag"

3. Last phone call received:<< from shin regarding the CNY card i wanna buy

4.Last TV show watched:<< kim possible =3

5.Last thing you drank:<< water.. i love water ..

6.Last time you slept:<< last night near 3 am

7.Last person you saw:<< my homies .. shin and rong

8.Last text sent:<< "ge mis call mei ah. why oh"

9.Last time you left the house:<< this afternoon around 1:15 pm

10.Last book read:<< judy blume - forever

11.Last song listened to:<< hen xiang shuo [ really want to say ] - sam lee

12.Last thing touched:<< the keyboard

13.Last time you saw your parents:<< sunday morning

14.Last thing you bought:<< mc flurry ! yum!

15.Last time you brushed your teeth:<< this morning

16.Last movie watched:<< initial d .. jie lun oh

17.Last time you did something illegal:<< do i illegal things? =S

18.Last time you went to the hospital:<< before i enter uni .. may 2005

19.Last time you exercised:<< yesterday went for a walk walk

20.Last thing you printed:<< it's either jie lun's pics or duan le de xuan [broken string] lyrics

21.Last time you cried:<< it's been a while de

22.Last time you laughed:<< not too long

23.Last time you were at school:<< uni? was at uni till near 5 pm

24.Last time you ate:<< 40 mins ago

25.Last card game played:<< last june 2006.. miss those times =(

26.Last time you cleaned your room:<< a bit this morning

27.Last time you slept in:<< my room in d23ab

28.Last time you were kissed:<< when she was drunk ! XD

29.Last time you took a shower:<< maybe 10 mins ago

30.Last time you went to an amusement park:<< end of feb 2005 .. long time de

31.Last time you watched a sporting event:<< last two tuesdays.. wrestling .. cena *drools*

32.Last time you highlighted something:<< it's been so long de ..

33.Last time you did homework:<< last semester

34.Last time you took a test:<< early jan 2007

35.Last time you smiled:<< not too long

36.Last time you had an alcoholic beverage:<< near new year 2007

37.Last time you saw a sibling:<< sunday

38.Last time you saw your best friend:<< i dun have one

39.Last time you yelled at someone:<< hmm.. i dun remember

40.Last thing you wrote on paper:<< message on CNY card

41.Last relationship:<< last june 2006 .. if i consider it la

42.Last thing you bought for yourroom:<< i dun buy things for my room

43.Last type of gum chewed:<< extra whitening chewing gum

44.Last time you charged your phone:<< now

45.Last time you went out to eat withyour family:<< two weeks ago

46.Last thing you took out of therefrigerator to eat or drink:<< peel fresh mango juice

47.Last conversation you had:<< with scha

48.Last shoes worn:<< my sports shoes

49.Last time you were away from home formore than a day:<< i'm in rental house now

50.Last time you went shopping:<< just hours ago.. bought hair clips .. wee !! =D

hehe, i'm super bored and my hands are super itchy .. i have to type out this thingy here.. oo
thx to karyn for fixing my archive... did u guys notice i never had archives before this ? hehe..

today i learn about flash actionscript.. @.@ omg.. confusing and complicated .. but neh mind, this is a challenge i'm willing to take =D

i thought about him again today and my heart felt sad.. the memories.. the smiles.. ppl say we look good together ... =3

it's been months .. when will i heal completely?

Labels: ASSignment grumble, daily rant, emotion, tag

;12:37 AM

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Sunday, February 04, 2007

this is me..

i have two confessions today ..

well , if it's counted as confessions la ..

I NEVER REALLY BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP BEFORE ..

yep, i said it.. and i'm not ashamed .. because i'm a positive person. i had flings, i like guys (dun worry) .. and there were a couple of ppl in my life.. but real commited relationship? nah, not yet anyways.. it's just that my own mind, i know i'm not matured and emotionally stable yet.. besides all the guys i pass by before .. well, they're not exactly boyfriend/ partner material.. haha..

each time a guy tries to enter my life (or i enter theirs), i would kneel and pray .. and each time it's the same thing .. " if that guy is not going to make me happy, if this is not the right guy for me , plz keep him away from me .. before he bring me sadness and pain because i would crumble"

and each time, the guy would start moving away and i believe in my prayers ..

when i was 15, i was under peer pressure to get a bf .. ( i was in girls school) and i tot "hey, if i get a bf online , it would be better, cause i dun need to worry about seeing him and losing my focus on my studies" silly young me ! .. =D

when i was 17, i stepped into NS camp and my eyes and mind were broaden.. i met people of everywhere.. and i learn that i too , am not that shy and kept up..

now i'm near 20, i had experience crushing and being crushed and crashed before.. and after an experience, an incident of real life, i'm confident that i dun want a test relationship, another cute lil fling.. no more.. i'm grown up.. and i know when to stay away .. it's just that the time is not right.. at least not yet..

like i always say " hey, i'm single, if love happens, it happens, why bother looking and seeking high and low?" =D

2007 is my year!

but my heart is still healing anyways ..

confession number two..

I DON'T HAVE A BEST FRIEND ..

my best friend is myself... why? i dun believe in best friends.. no matter how best your friends are ...

what the hell is a best friend?
~ to me = someone who found a new friend and ditch you.. when ur barely 11, and u end up crying on the phone to dad at the office (yesh, i was 11..) ..

i later found out that she was trying to get me to convert to another religion.. =(

i had best friend.. i used to think u could only have one .. now i learn i can have more.. but i dun dare claim just about anyone to be my best friend .. not even Jo who i been friends with since 12..

(that's about 8 years now Jo, happy anniversary! =) )

no, i dun have best friends.. only close friends.. friends who are close.. a few close friends.. i'm scared of having a best friend .. Jo is my close friend .. =) .. i can tell her everything ..

oh well ,that ends my emo rant of the day, i'm bored.. so pardon me. sitting in this big empty house makes me a bit siao ..

i miss *sotong, the tears just refuse to drop..

* name have been changed to hide the identity of the person

Labels: anniversary, emotion

;3:36 PM

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